“You dozed, and watched the night revealing….”
– T. S. Eliot
You threw
your Sisyphean rock arcing
toward the laughing face
of the moon. Several miles
high, it caught glimmer
from starlight.
Dreamer’s insight,
strokes like a swimmer.
Showing a canine’s wiles –
one of the un-kenneled race –
you started barking.
You knew
night’s dream mirror.
A Quadrille posted to dVerse Poets Pub.
I have added a page of reference material to my blog — mostly poetry, but not only poetry. Please take a look and feel free to comment!
My word shows 44
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I’m safe! I’m pissed! Go look at my blog post! This is why I don’t come here that often. It’s poetry….
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I DID write 44 words. You came in like the freaking poetry police and badgered me. You didn’t look at my poem. You didn’t consider the quality or workmanship. You came in with a total misconception of your position in this evening’s event, not to mention simple mathematics. I have been staying away from dVerse for awhile because of the times I’ve seen poets badgered over split hairs. But you won’t even apologize for being totally wrong about a word count that I made three times before I freaking posted! Badger the professionals — and watch those who write for the love of poetry pack up and leave. 44 freaking words.
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I apologize for hurting your feelings. the thing is, the quadrille is 44 words…not 40 not 50. I did not badger you either. I simply told you and your ego couldn’t take it. Plain and simple. And if a prompt is not followed, it is not commented upon. And for your information, I am a professional, not that it is any of your business. I’m sorry you are having a temper tantrum. I’m sorry I insulted you. But I do sincerely sincerely apologize for saying you had less that 44. We all make our decisions in this world and we all take responsibility. If you want to write total free form poetry, I am sure there are sites out there that will welcome such a talent as yours. And what you call “badgering” is taking people to task for not following prompts. You would consider it badgering. I don’t know you and at this point, I do not care to know you further. My position BTW is as a dVerse staff member and I read and comment. I do not critique. But as a staff member, it is my place to point out that someone did not follow the prompt. Personally, I think you are making much of such a small thing. but then again, like I said, your ego got in the way when you were “corrected”… sorry I my computer miscounted your words. I would have handled it differently than you did. But then again, I am a professional.
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You did not hurt my ego. You were wrong and bull-heartedly refused to see and to admit you were wrong. You remain so. Enough said. Desist!
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That first line alone! Great write, Charley!
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Thank you!
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I like the change in perspective on Sisyphus to throw rather than roll that rock.
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Thank you, Frank! It’s weird how dreams change things.
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Dreams change everything.
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They certainly can. Dreams are as living beings, with fewer restraints.
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Indeed they are.
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And that can be frightening, joyful… so many ways to fill in that blank.
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Yes, very true. And inspirational, as well. Sometimes, I am awakened with words running through my head!
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It happens; it happens! I kept a journal next to my bed when I was in my twenties. Would wake up and write. In the morning… no idea! Dream writings, like dreams themselves, don’t follow the rules.
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How could they not?
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Much enjoyed this, Charley. I really like poems that have 2nd person narrative. It makes it more immediate to me.
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Thank you very much! It just kind of flowed that way. And, yes, it does seem more immediate. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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This took me on a cosmic journey of the subconscious. Is that even possible? I got lost in the imagery and reflected back. Thanks for that.
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And that has to be the strangest comment I have ever made….sorry for that!
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Why are you apologizing?
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You are so welcome! I’m glad you said that. It was exactly the effect I encountered while writing it.
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Only at night you can rid yourself of the Sisyphean weight… when dawn breaks its back in the harness again,
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True enough. Conversely, only at night do you face nightmare creatures… when dawn breaks they become laughable cartoon characters. Our dream worlds are “dark rides,” or not. I’m glad you stopped by.
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What a strange journey. It’s like a glass of wine … I’m getting unbound giants, wolves howling, cosmic cataclysm…
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You drink a rare vintage indeed! Still, I’m glad for the company on the journey. It would make for an interesting ride… at an amusement park.
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I liked this- Sisyphean rock arcing gives the dream a quality of endlessness . I like where you take us with your words.
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Thank you for stopping by… and traveling along!
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My pleasure!
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I love how this plays from the Eliot quote! After several readings I see that this poem is a true reflection; the 2nd stanza mirrors the first in rhyme scheme – wow! How tough was that?! You threw and you knew are prefect bookends on this surreal poem. My favorite part is the barking of the unkenneled – at some very animal level I resonate with that part. Excellent, excellent writing, Charley! YOWL!
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Thank you, Jilly! I worked on this one for sure. It was all written before I came to the mirror, and I went, “Damn!” The rewrite was a bit of a chore; a labor of love… and a mumbled curse here and there. 🙂 I’m glad you saw it!
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Charley, sounds like the edge of insanity to me…but then I live way out in the country 😉
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You don’t have dreams out in the country?
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Wild ones!
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No doubt. Howling good fun!
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You took me a moonlight journey ~ Love this part: Dreamer’s insight and your title too!
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Thank you, Grace! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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I love, ‘the barking of the unkenneled’.
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Thank you! I worked hard on this poem. Waiting for someone to see the mirror….
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Firstly, I love the shape of this quadrille, Charley, as well as the second person perspective, almost as if your are addressing me. A dreaming wolf, a moonlight philosopher, or just a dreamer: it glimmers with starlight! I especially like:
‘one of the un-kenneled race –
you started barking’
and
‘You knew
night’s dream mirror’.
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Thank you! This was a real work. If you look at the lines of the two stanzas — at the rhyme scheme — you’ll see why I included “night’s dream mirror.”
Dreamscapes are such fertile ground for poetry. If we dig in deep enough, we’re bound to touch a memory-nerve in a reader. Of course I hope for universality as well.
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