Reflection on the Subconscious

“You dozed, and watched the night revealing….”

 – T. S. Eliot

You threw

your Sisyphean rock arcing
toward the laughing face
of  the moon.  Several miles
high, it caught glimmer
from starlight.

Dreamer’s insight,
strokes like a swimmer.
Showing a canine’s wiles –
one of the un-kenneled race –
you started barking.

You knew

night’s dream mirror.

 

A Quadrille posted to dVerse Poets Pub.

I have added a page of reference material to my blog — mostly poetry, but not only poetry.  Please take a look and feel free to comment!

41 thoughts on “Reflection on the Subconscious

      • I DID write 44 words. You came in like the freaking poetry police and badgered me. You didn’t look at my poem. You didn’t consider the quality or workmanship. You came in with a total misconception of your position in this evening’s event, not to mention simple mathematics. I have been staying away from dVerse for awhile because of the times I’ve seen poets badgered over split hairs. But you won’t even apologize for being totally wrong about a word count that I made three times before I freaking posted! Badger the professionals — and watch those who write for the love of poetry pack up and leave. 44 freaking words.

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      • I apologize for hurting your feelings. the thing is, the quadrille is 44 words…not 40 not 50. I did not badger you either. I simply told you and your ego couldn’t take it. Plain and simple. And if a prompt is not followed, it is not commented upon. And for your information, I am a professional, not that it is any of your business. I’m sorry you are having a temper tantrum. I’m sorry I insulted you. But I do sincerely sincerely apologize for saying you had less that 44. We all make our decisions in this world and we all take responsibility. If you want to write total free form poetry, I am sure there are sites out there that will welcome such a talent as yours. And what you call “badgering” is taking people to task for not following prompts. You would consider it badgering. I don’t know you and at this point, I do not care to know you further. My position BTW is as a dVerse staff member and I read and comment. I do not critique. But as a staff member, it is my place to point out that someone did not follow the prompt. Personally, I think you are making much of such a small thing. but then again, like I said, your ego got in the way when you were “corrected”… sorry I my computer miscounted your words. I would have handled it differently than you did. But then again, I am a professional.

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    • True enough. Conversely, only at night do you face nightmare creatures… when dawn breaks they become laughable cartoon characters. Our dream worlds are “dark rides,” or not. I’m glad you stopped by.

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  1. I love how this plays from the Eliot quote! After several readings I see that this poem is a true reflection; the 2nd stanza mirrors the first in rhyme scheme – wow! How tough was that?! You threw and you knew are prefect bookends on this surreal poem. My favorite part is the barking of the unkenneled – at some very animal level I resonate with that part. Excellent, excellent writing, Charley! YOWL!

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    • Thank you, Jilly! I worked on this one for sure. It was all written before I came to the mirror, and I went, “Damn!” The rewrite was a bit of a chore; a labor of love… and a mumbled curse here and there. 🙂 I’m glad you saw it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Firstly, I love the shape of this quadrille, Charley, as well as the second person perspective, almost as if your are addressing me. A dreaming wolf, a moonlight philosopher, or just a dreamer: it glimmers with starlight! I especially like:
    ‘one of the un-kenneled race –
    you started barking’
    and
    ‘You knew
    night’s dream mirror’.

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    • Thank you! This was a real work. If you look at the lines of the two stanzas — at the rhyme scheme — you’ll see why I included “night’s dream mirror.”

      Dreamscapes are such fertile ground for poetry. If we dig in deep enough, we’re bound to touch a memory-nerve in a reader. Of course I hope for universality as well.

      Liked by 1 person

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