Saturdays are promises misspoken that carry
ammunition for the week. We enter
a range of exhaustion,
bullet bright, concentric motifs
that rifle us past the Sun. Mooning our loss
of respite from the race, a legion rattles
Is velocity even a question?
What deserts scorched at perihelion?
Melting sands swirl – camels in glass.
Weapons droop into ploughshares.
Still the hardened days untillable,
“until” hocked like a promissory
note. Hooked on through dies Martis.
Humpday comes as oasis breather.
Then Fire-day our trial by splitting
the distance between caravanserai
and the Gobi-tween. Dates blend.
Hookah left at the next pyramid.
Time burnt in offering, smoking skyward.
The camels shift nervously in their traces.
qbit has taken up my Renga Challenge as a part of Jilly’s January Casting Bricks to Attract Jade Challenge.
Is velocity even a question?
What deserts scorched at perihilion?
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Here you go:
“Melting sands swirl – camels in glass.
Weapons droop into ploughshares.”
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Wow – camels in glass. That’s great.
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“Still the hardened days untillable,
“until” hocked like a promissory”
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Here you go:
“note. Hooked on through dies Martis.
Humpday comes as oasis breather.”
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Very cool: “Tīw’s Day”, the day of Tiw or Týr, the god of single combat, victory and heroic glory in Norse mythology. Tiw was equated with Mars in the interpretatio germanica, and the name of the day is a translation of Latin dies Martis.”
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A one-handed god, who may have been over Odin and Thor.
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“Then Fire-day our trial by splitting
the distance between caravanserai”
You brought back the camels! Except Nordic god camels!
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You have the last one!
“and the Gobi-tween. Dates blend.
Hookah left at the next pyramid.”
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Gobi-tween!!!!! Ahahahaha!!!
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I can’t get anywhere as close as you to the number of puns in one couplet. That was amazing. How’s this to close?
“Time burnt in offering, smoking skyward.
The camels shift nervously in their traces.”
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Sounds good! I’ll post it.
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This showed up either our weakness or our weekbesses
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Spell check mangled that. Was supposed to “weeknesses”.
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Hahaha! I was waiting for you to use that one in your couplet!
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Smoking our camels and eating our… figs… yeah, our figs… that’ll work.
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So great!!
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More puns, allusions and smoked mirrors per square inch than I’ve ever seen! You guys are off the charts!!!
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If you mean charts, as in maps, I’d have to agree. We were lucky to find our way home with this one!
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I’m trying to be an encourager here. Wait.. Which way is north? Haha! (Great job for a couple of intellectuals!)
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LOLOL! “Dates blend”, “Hookah left” those are priceless.
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The ferocity of both your minds are exquisite and impeccable. Well done in collaborating. I love this. Hey Charley, I am back! got a new post up. 🙂
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Hey, welcome back, Charlie! I’ll stop by. If you get a chance, take a look at “Jewel.” I think that’s one of my best.
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I’ll check it out. 🙂
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Reblogged this on qbit and commented:
This Renga boldly goes where no Renga has gone before! (There’s probably a good reason for that, LOL!) Take your pick, time, puns, camels, rockets, we have it all!
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We rock!
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We rock the casbah! And maybe the cash bar!
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I wish.
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Same thing in Boston.
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I rock out to Boston!
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Ahahaha! I don’t think many people remember them.
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A staple of every oldies station in every state I’ve ever been in.
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Ok, yes, you are right.
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I keep re-reading this. There is so much funny stuff here. Humpday!!!! How amazing is just that alone?
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The whole thing was outstanding… and outlandish!
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Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
#Haiku Happenings #9: Charley’and qbit’s latest #freestyle #renga!
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Commented on Qbit’s and now again here: loved it!
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Thank you!
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