Troiku – Fish Crow

Fish Crow gives color
to more and more of the day
my heart says, “Un uh!”

Fish Crow gives color
on a Fall day and I laugh
we are brothers now

To more and more of the day
an urgency comes
speeding to solstice

My heart says, “Un uh!”
as Fall draws toward winter
my mantra, “Come, Spring!”

This was written in response to Frank J. Tassone’s Haikai Challenge #4.  The challenge word is Darkness.  While technically not one of the ancient and accepted Japanese forms (at least in its totality), the Troiku feeds off the first “stanza,” a traditional Haiku.

Back in 2012 (or 13?) Chèvrefeuille, the host of Carpe Diem Haiku Kai, introduced the form he called, Troiku.  Follow the link for more information on this form.  It’s an interesting twist on an ancient and revered poetry form.  It’s also a lot of fun!

By the way… the Fish Crow’s call really does sound like he’s saying, “Un uh!”  Contrary bird!

 

18 thoughts on “Troiku – Fish Crow

  1. I like this form, Charley – must try it soon! So, call me ‘slow,’ but it took a bit to figure out that the fish crow, a DARK bird, is giving more and more of his color to the day – more darkness as fall advances.
    (It’s been a long week – forgive my density!) You are a very clever writer, as always! Oh, regarding the bird’s call – yes, they really do say that!
    I feel the acceleration of the season in your poem and that urgent feeling of dread that comes with the approaching winter. I also love the line about you and the bird being brothers; very crow-like!

    Like

  2. Pingback: #Haikai Challenge #5 (10/28/17/): Halloween #haiku #haibun #senryu #tanka – Frank J. Tassone

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