Forgotten Better Days (a [Re]Bop)

This is my attempt at completing a challenge Jilly
presented for her Casting Bricks August Challenge.


Smoke gathers round the rim of my coffee cup
remnants of the skirmish in my untouched bowl of cereal
your suitcase sits by the door, the new leather one
not the weary worn green canvas with tags from our trip
to Paris last summer
leaving me with a million

forgotten better days and a badly written play


Blurred words seep through the wall
you on the phone with some unknown
My absent mind sips backstory
the covert calls we shared – you and I becoming –
“chance meetings” for lunch lasting
well into afternoons bending together….
Now lifting the blinds on

forgotten better days and a badly written play

Wraiths converge
ghosts of “us” meeting at the door
offering you a final drink… myself
leather suitcase bars remediation
clasped hands, clasped handle, unclasped heart
turning away, turning the knob…. (exeunt to – )

forgotten better days and a badly written play





4 thoughts on “Forgotten Better Days (a [Re]Bop)

  1. OH! A twist extraordinaire! The one leaving is the one speaking – had not expected that at all! Not only that, but the speaker is taking the lover’s new leather suitcase; damn! There is much drama here – they began on the sly; like that backstory. Also, the suitcase – obvious suitcase – bars any chance of getting back what has been lost. I really enjoy your use of stage directions in this, fitting well with my refrain line. Bravo! Encore! Take a bow. (The chosen picture is interesting – that looks like a kid’s ceral, which seems apt.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is great. I remember this wonderful poem of Jilly’s but I couldn’t tell where her part ended and yours began. You kept the voice of the poem but took it in an unexpected, empowering direction.
    Just a quirk of my brain, I was unable to read your stage direction without thinking “(Exit, pursued by a bear).”
    Nicely written!

    Liked by 1 person

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