Loss and the Forgetful Sun



(My attempt at finishing Imelda’s challenge
for Jillys August Casting Bricks challenge.)

Moon, lost in orbit
looking for its sun, I am
a gaping silence
devouring your memory
an altar of your absence

Sun, lost in myself
thinking all space orbits me
see your fleeting glance
as you slip behind the earth
now I’ve made you my center

Imelda began this challenge by writing the first part of a Somonka.   A somonka is a type of Japanese poetry framed in two tankas. It has love as the central theme and is a sort of a short love-letter exchanged by the persons involved.  The mechanics are as follows:

“The Somonka is:
• a poem in 10 lines, made up of 2 tankas.
• syllabic, 5-7-5-7-7 5-7-5-7-7 syllables per line.
• composed in the form of statement-response,
• often written by 2 poets, one writing the statement the other the response but a single poet can write both parts.
• titled.
• unrhymed.
• built around the theme of love.” (The information is from poetscollective.org, please click the somonka link to go to the site)


9 thoughts on “Loss and the Forgetful Sun

  1. Nice reflection on human relationships and a timely write with the eclipse coming up on Monday. Great job with the completion of Imelda’s poem! (I’ve written one, too. Just need to find a moment to post it.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is great. 🙂 I like the growth of the speaker from being focused on himself to the other. I think your piece complements the first part really well.
    Thank you so much for writing a response. 👏👍

    Liked by 1 person

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