Your Better Dawns

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photo by Charley

Days of Unreason, day one prompt:

“In this world of dreams don’t let the clock cut up your life in pieces.” – Jim Harrison

 

The solid brass slicing voices
of Regulator clocks hanging
over our heads disillusion sing.

Creation through us flows
freely, allowing us to ignore
today.  Our calendar plans
crash imagination’s flight;
loss of lives – details at ten.

The solid brass workings
of the clock, your life dissects.

Do not allow time’s constraints
to sushi-fy your better dawns,
laughing storms, sunsets of awe.

A little over a year ago, I joined Jillys2016 in a challenge called “28 Days of Unreason.”  She culled quotes from the poems of Jim Harrison in a book called Songs of Unreason.  We used the quotes as prompts; diving boards suspended over the abyss of poetry.  Jill is revisiting unreason, and I am skipping gleefully along.  Come and join the fun!

It’s Open Link night at dVerse Poets Pub.  Stop by and say, “Hi!”

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50 thoughts on “Your Better Dawns

  1. I dig that James Hunter; old-school R&B vibe. Sushi-fy is my word-of-the-day! It bespeaks a knife that slices us up with time. So glad you are joining me again on this Unreasonable journey; great start!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ok, I had to come back now that the world is quiet for a few minutes – that clock kept me sliced up pretty well yesterday. (sigh) The ‘workings’ of the clock in your poem are personified in such a chilling way – slicing voices / singing disillusion / dissecting our lives. But then comes the connection to the Harrison quote – the command of ‘don’t let!’ – especially love the laughing storms. That is how I feel in a raging storm!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The pattern of your poetic form tells me the creative influence from within your heart and the abstract of creative brilliance. 🙂

    The thought of slicing voice is eerie and mind blowing. We may not have voices but our imagination lives on forever and us poets to pen on paper.

    P.S Hope to see you on my blog. You’ll laugh hard. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Those last sentiments show that our destiny may be in our hands more than we realize — but only if we “Do not allow time’s constraints
    to sushi-fy your better dawns,
    laughing storms, sunsets of awe”.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love clocks (let’s ditch the digitals) and poems about time, Charley, especially the ‘solid brass slicing voices’ and ‘calendar plans [that] crash imagination’s flight’, as well as the lines:
    Do not allow time’s constraints
    to sushi-fy your better dawns,
    laughing storms, sunsets of awe’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I’m every so grateful for the feedback. Feel free to let me know when something doesn’t work… for you. I long for critical advice as much as praise (okay, maybe not true… but close).

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I had to read it again after listening to the song, which stunned me in the first measure in its lightness and playfulness and making me think, “Did I miss something?” But I did not. My mind is usually on melancholic mode, so whatever I read will take on a bluish hue. But after the second read I was invited (by your art) out of my head and was able to experience for a moment what you were conveying about not taking everything so seriously all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I always enjoy hearing a reader’s take on a poem. It’s difficult for some, because they feel the need to “correct” the reader. I — and a few others — believe that the reader “finishes” a poem that a writer only started. Your analysis is valid and just. My failing in this post is possibly the choice of video (or the inclusion of one). I think the lyrics misdirect the reader if they are paid close attention. I just thought it a cool song with a pertinent hook line.

      If, at the end, I brought a smile… that’s worth it, too! 🙂

      Like

    • We all do! It is an often-stated truth that time is a slave master, a wringer that squeezes joy out of the beautiful gift of life we have been given. I liked how you threw away the watch on the last post of yours — you and your child. How beautiful… and unscheduled!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I like how the syncopated beats and cretic modulations (in the last stanza) tease at the mechanical, tick-tocking under-rhythm (as suggested by the metrical-looking arrangement). That I find speaks for the message itself. On another note, what’s wrong with sushi? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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